


How to Meet the Love of Your Life

by traumabird



Category: Original Work
Genre: Arizona - Freeform, Confessions, Drug Abuse, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Musicians, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, herpetology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traumabird/pseuds/traumabird
Summary: Jonathan is fascinated by Noel. Noel thinks Jonathan is a mess and maybe hates him. But, they keep running into each other.
Relationships: OMC/OMC
Kudos: 1





	1. My Last Drink

**Author's Note:**

> this is a spin off from an RP

He’s a friend of a friend, and he hardly looks like he wants to be there. Jonathan’s been watching him all night, this man wearing black from head to toe in a way that’s less of a fashion statement and more of a defense mechanism, fading in the dark bar, and Jonathan has to ask, “Who’s that?”

“Oh? Uhm…” Katarina holds her martini in two hands, laughing when she realizes, “Oh, Noel. Why? Are you interested?”

“Maybe,” Jonathan says.

“Well, he’s on the rebound,” she says, raising her pencil thin eyebrows. “So, you know, maybe his standards are low enough right now.”

“You know you’re a cunt, right?”

“You know you can’t use that word just because you’re gay, right?”

Jonathan rolls his eyes and slings his arm around her shoulders. Her cosmo sloshes from its glass and onto her white shoes, and she shoves him away. 

“Asshole!”

He laughs, looking up in time to catch Noel looking at him, only to look away just as quickly.

“What’s he drinking?” Jonathan asks Katarina, who’s trying to soak the pink out of her vans with a handful of bar napkins.

“Figure it out.” She flips him off and goes to find Evan, who she’s sort of not-dating. 

Jonathan figures they’ve got about a week more, tops. He’d put money on that. He lets her go and approaches Noel, taking the seat beside his.  
Noel doesn’t look too pleased about it. “My friend’s sitting there.”

“Oh, come on. I’m buying you a drink.” Jonathan smiles and winks. “What do you have there?”

“My last drink,” Noel replies, flat.

That makes Jonathan laugh, and it’s a nice laugh. He tries another angle, “I have pot. Do you smoke?”

And it turns out, that’s enough to get Noel into his car -- a red Ford Mustang that’s seen better days.

“I’m not going to sleep with you,” Noel says before he gets in the passenger’s seat.

“Oh my god, we’re just smoking.” Jonathan shuts the door behind him and opens the center console. He packs a bowl after he breaks up a sticky bud between his fingers. “I guess I wouldn’t be opposed, though. You’re kinda cute.”

“Does this usually work for you?” Noel asks, incredulous. 

“Do you want a real answer?”

Noel’s silence speaks volumes as he simply takes the bowl and hits it, inhaling and exhaling a cloud of grey smoke. He doesn’t cough, which surprises Jonathan, though it doesn’t surprise him when Noel reaches for the door handle.

“Oh, come on. I’m joking around.” He puts a hand on his wrist but doesn’t grab him. “I just thought you seemed interesting. What are you doing here, anyway? Doesn’t seem like… your scene.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I’m good at reading people.” Jonathan shrugs. “Do you go to the University with Kat?”

“Yeah,” Noel says. His other hand is still on the door. “I’m going to go now. It was… okay meeting you, I guess.”

“Pleasure’s mine. I’m Jonathan, by the way.”

“Never asked,” Noel says, climbing out of the car without another word. He slams the door shut behind him.

Jonathan decides then and there, he has to have him.


	2. Agent of Chaos

A month later, Katarina’s still hanging off Evan’s arm, much to everyone’s shock and awe, especially Jonathan, who’s privy to every single one of their screaming matches. It’s almost like they want an audience.

Jonathan doesn’t mind. Other people’s problems are far more interesting than his own, which boil down to where he’s going to sleep and how he’s going to get his next meal. He’s drinking despite not eating today, but he figures, beer has calories.

Katarina whispers something to Evan and then saunters over to him. He smiles at her and asks, “Forgive me yet?”

“No. You still owe me a pair of shoes,” Katarina insists but without the usual vitriol. “I actually wanted to tell you… Noel’s here. Or well, going to be here I should say.” She winks. 

“How do you know him, exactly?” Jonathan asks, though he has half an idea.

“Oh, we have a class together,” Katarina explains. “We had a group project, and we were the only ones actually, you know, working on it, and we just hit it off.”

It’s hard for Jonathan to imagine Noel hitting it off with anyone. “Is he always like…?”

“Deeply bothered?” Katarina screws her face and laughs. “No, I think he just doesn’t like you.”

“...Why are you telling me he’s going to be here, then?”

Katarina shrugs. “Agent of chaos. Have fun.”

\---

Jonathan finds Noel in Evan's dated kitchen talking to someone he doesn’t recognize, a tall man who he seems to be whisper-fighting with. He steps closer to the doorway, and listens.

“...I said, I don’t care. I caught you with someone else. You have no chance. None.”

“Why can’t we just talk it through?”

“Because… there is nothing… to talk through,” Noel grits out before he shoves around the man and storms past Jonathan, who decides to follow.

He finds him outside on the back patio. When Noel spots him, he looks even less amused. “Oh my god. It’s you.”

“Well, you remember me,” Jonathan says cheerfully, taking a seat on the concrete beside him. “Can I get a second chance? Come on. I’m not as drunk.”

“You literally smell like beer,” Noel says but doesn’t put up any more protest than that.

It’s quiet, but it’s not uncomfortable. Jonathan lights a cigarette, and without saying anything, Noel steals it and takes a few drags, which makes Jonathan grin and simply light another, letting Noel keep the first.

“You know, that guy seems like an asshole,” Jonathan says.

“...Were you stalking me?” Noel asks, but there’s some humor in it. He shrugs and looks away. “I just have bad taste, I guess.”

“I could see that.”

“...Really?”

“Well, you’re still sitting out here with me.”

That actually makes Noel laugh, and Jonathan is left stunned but thrilled. He scoots closer. “Hey. You know, my band’s playing--”

“Of course you’re in a band.”

“Come on, let me finish.” Jonathan shakes his head. “Also, ouch. I’ll have you know I’m very talented.”

“Oh?” Noel raises his eyebrows incredulously. “I’ll have to come see, then, I guess. I’ll ask Kat about it.”

He puts out his cigarette, stands and goes inside, and while Jonathan only catches glimpses of him for the rest of the night, he gets a warm feeling every time they meet eyes across the room.


	3. A Local Show

The lights are too bright to see anyone in the crowd. Sweat drips down his back, and he wishes someone would open the front doors of the bar again so that breeze would drift up to the cramped stage. He doesn’t usually think when he’s up here. But he keeps looking out at the shifting silhouettes, a good crowd for a local show.

Jonathan hates their vocalist. His voice is alright, but when their set finishes, he just stutters something that falls flat, and like that, the synergy is gone. Everyone is mumbling, heading to get a drink while they disassemble their gear. He only has the guitar and an amp, so he starts helping Evan with his drum kit.

“This dude’s a tool.”

“It’s just for a couple more weeks. We’re looking, man. What, you trying to impress someone?”

“...Kat told you?” Jonathan asks.

“Maybe,” he grins. “Oh, come on. It’s not like you’re not just going to hit and quit it.”

“I think I like him,” Jonathan protests, kneeling to start undoing bolts from the stand, carefully setting the snare drum aside. “He seems… I don’t know, mysterious.”

“That’s the gayest thing you’ve ever said.”

“And that joke’s still not funny.”

“Oh, come on. I’m being realistic. He’s not going to be mysterious, and then you’re going to get bored. You do this like, four times a year, if not more. Hey. At least you’ll probably get a song out of it.” Evan points at Jonathan and winks. 

Despite himself, he laughs. “Fuck you dude.”

\---

They finish carrying everything out to the van, and Jonathan returns to the bar. He orders the well whiskey, neat, and it burns from his tongue to his esophagus, but it was his last four dollars.

Someone taps his shoulder, and he turns around to see Noel, who looks -- actually like he’s not miserable to see him.

“Oh, uh, hey.” He shoots the rest of his drink and sets the empty glass on the bar, pushing it back so it’ll be easier for the bartender to grab. “Did you see…?”

“Your singer almost piss himself on stage? Yeah,” Noel quips, but he shakes his head. “No, but uh, you’re right. You’re talented.”

“Just, not the band?” Jonathan laughs. “That’s fair.”

“You should probably uh, change out a few people,” Noel says. When the bartender circles around, he orders himself a drink, and then asks, “What do you want?”

“You don’t have to get me anything.”

“It’s fine. I told Kat I’d start a tab,” Noel says, handing the bartender his debit card when she returns with his beer. “Whatever he wants.”

“Uh, well whiskey’s fine,” Jonathan says, and she pours him another. This one he sips. His stomach feels sort of queasy, and he thinks maybe he should have eaten something before he started downing hard liquor. “You’re being nice.”

“Please don’t mention it.”

They end up walking to a booth tucked far in the corner. Noel sits, and Jonathan takes a chance and sits next to him. Beneath the table, he puts his hand on his knee, and when Noel doesn’t push him away, slides it up his thigh.

“You’re… really good looking.”

“Thought I was kind of cute?” Noel says dryly.

“...Yeah. That really didn’t work, huh?”

“But it usually does, right?” Noel places his hand over Jonathan’s. “I’m still not going to sleep with you.”

“You sure about that?” Jonathan peeks over his shoulder, not wanting to make a scene, before he leans closer, and when Noel still doesn’t push him away, starts to kiss down his neck.

Noel tilts his head, and asks, low, “Do you still have pot in your car?”

\---

And for exactly thirty-three days after that, Jonathan doesn’t hear anything from Noel but thinks about him constantly.


	4. Cuvier's Dwarf Caiman

It’s six AM, and Evan’s somehow convinced him to drive to the Safeway to buy more beer while he waits for their coke guy to drop off more coke. Katarina is the first woman to break his heart, apparently, as she left him two days ago, and Evan hasn’t been sober since.

The fringe benefit is that Jonathan also hasn’t been sober since, and he’s had somewhere to sleep every night. Not that there’s been much sleeping. Jonathan isn’t even exactly sure where Evan’s getting the money for this bender, but he’s yet to question it because Evan’s also been buying him food, guitar picks, and new strings, all in exchange for keeping him company and listening to him lament about everything he’s ever done wrong.

He grabs a cart, feeling very alien under the fluorescent lights. An old woman gives him a dirty look, and he realizes his jaw is going. He focuses on not grinding his teeth, tries not to think about the buzzing in his skull, the anxiety that’s come alive in his chest, and focuses on beer.

Honestly, he doesn’t even like cocaine. He would never buy it. But who turns down free cocaine?

Grabbing a case of Natural Ice, he decides to get a pizza for when they start coming down. He’s been forcing Evan to eat, too, and is sort of worried about him. Maybe tomorrow he’ll say something like, _We should really cool it,_ and hope he listens. Even if they don’t exactly say it to each other all the time, he loves Evan like a brother, more than a brother really, because Jonathan’s actual brother is a homophobic serial abuser.

He turns down the frozen food aisle. There’s someone else there he tries his hardest not to look at, not wanting to draw anymore attention to himself. He grabs a Jack’s pepperoni and maneuvers his cart to go around the person -- and realizes it’s Noel.

Unlike himself, Noel is dressed like he’s about to go to the gym, looking maybe a little tired but alert. They catch eyes, and Jonathan has never wanted to disappear so much in his life.

Noel looks him over and says, “Wow. What have you been doing?”

Jonathan says, in his best attempt at a natural human smile, “I plead the fifth?”

“That’s probably wise,” Noel says. He starts to walk away, but something in Jonathan tells him to follow.

He taps his shoulder. “Hey. Uh. Look, I don’t know what happened -- but I want to take you on a real date.”

“A real date?” Noel says with an incredulous look. “Look… I really don’t like drugs, we can talk late--”

“I’m sorry.” Jonathan rubs the back of his neck. “This really isn’t… me, and I haven’t been making a great impression… at all, but I’ve been thinking about you a lot. We could… go to the aquarium or something.”

It’s a guess but apparently, it’s a good one. Noel purses his lips and says, “They have a pair of Cuvier’s Dwarf Caimans I really want to see… okay. Fine. Meet me there at three PM on the sixteenth.”

Jonathan feels around his coat for a pen. “Can I have your… phone number or something?”

“No,” Noel says, but he also says, “I’ll be there. So, just be there. I’ll wait on the stairs for thirty minutes. And… you probably shouldn’t drink more. You look awful.”

He glances down at the cart. “This is for… a friend.”

“Right.” Noel raises his eyes and walks off, but he waves as he goes.

\---

When Jonathan gets back to Evan’s very sad, very dirty apartment, he starts cleaning.

Evan looks up at him. “What’s up with you?”

“Ran into someone. Just need to do something with my hands,” Jonathan explains, though he can’t stop grinning to himself.


	5. A Student, A Scientist

“You’re going to an aquarium?” Evan repeats for maybe the third time, just as incredulous as the first. He keeps glancing at Jonathan, traffic be damned, horns blaring around them, and says, “Well, you look nice.”

“Oh shut up.”

“No, come on, I’m serious. I can compliment my friend,” Evan huffs, not bothering with his left turn signal because it’s out, anyway. “You look like you showered and wore clean laundry. The whole package.”

“...I hate you. Stop talking.”

Evan grins but obliges, coming to a grinding halt in front of the massive stone building. “Okay. Just remember you owe me gas money. Didn’t you already fuck this guy?”

“It’s not about that. Get your brakes fixed,” Jonathan says, punching Evan in the shoulder before he gets out of the sputtering Pontiac, slamming the door because it’s the only way it stays shut.

It takes him a minute, but he spots Noel -- sitting on the steps, as he promised, looking off at nothing. Jonathan stops where he is and just looks at him. He’s really beautiful, with his high cheeks and silky black hair, perfect olive complexion and serious black eyes. 

Jonathan works up the nerve to go up to him, not sure why he can’t seem to just say, “Uh, h-hey.”

“What’s up with you?” Noel says with a pointed stare but holds out his hand.

Jonathan helps him up, and for a second, they’re very close.

Noel says, “I got you a ticket. Come on,” and leads the way inside.

\---

A Cuvier’s Dwarf Caiman is, as far as Jonathan can tell, a very small crocodile with a very angry little face. Noel looks utterly entranced, and it’s cute, really cute, the way he climbs on the concrete ledge and tries to get the best angle. He owns a nice camera, and as far as Jonathan can tell, he’s good at using it.

“Are you a photographer?” Jonathan asks.

“No,” Noel says, looking back at him. “I’m a student.”

“You absolutely knew what I meant. Stop that.” Jonathan laughs, and it makes Noel smile in a playful sort of way that has Jonathan wishing his car hadn’t broken down. Maybe he can take him back to Evan’s? 

“What are you going to school for?”

“Herpetology,” Noel answers, though he’s moving on to the next exhibit before Jonathan can ask what that is, exactly.

The only light pours from the massive curved glass panes, dancing blues and greens, and illuminates all the best angles of his face. Jonathan looks around and finds they’re very much alone. So, he takes his chance, taps Noel’s shoulder, and when he turns to face him, kisses him briefly.

Noel’s eyes look soft. He doesn’t say anything, for once.

\---

Noel’s car is much nicer than his was, and he’s suddenly embarrassed that Noel was ever in it. He shifts in the passenger’s seat, looking out the window. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere,” Noel says.

Minutes pass. Jonathan thinks to ask, “What’s herpetology?”

He looks surprised, then amused. “The study of reptiles.”

“Oh. That’s cool. So you’re like, a scientist?”

“Not yet,” Noel says, but Jonathan’s never seen him like this. He looks content.

\---

Noel lives alone in a studio apartment Jonathan is very sure his parents are paying for. It’s simple, clean, and there are books stacked everywhere.

When he leaves the next morning, Noel gives him his number, and he’s also very sure he’s never met anyone exactly like him.


	6. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk if it's been clear but this story takes place in the mid 90s LMAO

“You know, I never would have guessed you smoke so much pot.”

Noel’s on his laptop, and Jonathan’s always curious to watch him use it. It’s brand new, and he’s never actually seen one that wasn’t in a store. That’s not something he tells Noel, especially not when Noel’s smiling like that. He passes Jonathan the joint. 

“It helps with my anxiety. Like, a lot.”

Jonathan nods and rolls over onto his stomach, catching one of Noel’s hands. “You know you said you were almost done with this like, an hour ago.”

“...I started smoking,” Noel says sheepishly and laughs, but he sets aside the laptop after making sure the file is saved. He draws Jonathan to himself and kisses his dark hair. “I’m still not going anywhere, though. I like my box.”

It’s what Jonathan’s affectionately dubbed the studio, and it makes him grin to hear Noel use it. “Oh come on. You have fun like, every time.”

“...Not every time. And your friends don’t like me.”

“You don’t like my friends,” Jonathan corrects and sighs. “Well. I’m gonna go…”

He starts to sit up, but Noel pulls him back into a kiss and presses him into the mattress that always smells clean. “Come on. Just stay.”

And he does, that night and the next and a few more scattered through the weeks.

\---

“Do you want a bump?” 

Evan holds up the compact mirror he stole from Katarina, three thin white lines cut with a razor. The straw’s in his other hand, and Jonathan doesn’t take it.

“Noel’s supposed to come to this show,” Jonathan says, looking out from backstage to see if he can spot him. 

“Oh my god, okay.” Evan rolls his eyes. “So how long are you going to keep playing house with him until you get bored? Because this is getting like, old.”

“I think I’m in love with him.”

Evan makes a face but catches himself. “Okay, then.”

“What?” Jonathan turns to him. “What were you going to say?”

“I’m not trying to have this conversation right here but you know. You always do this with guys. You like, change your whole life, and then you get bored. So I’m just, kind of waiting for that.” Evan shrugs. “Noel’s cool, and like, really smart, so I get it, and the photos he took for the band… are awesome. But you’re really cool with the no partying thing?”

“I mean, I can’t party forever,” Jonathan says, but he sighs. “Okay, fine. Give me that.”

They take a line each and split the last one. It does feel fucking amazing, especially the initial rush. Jonathan shakes his head, and they go out on stage seconds later.

Noel never shows up.

\---

Jonathan knocks on Noel’s door, and he answers, bleary-eyed. “It’s late, what are you…?”

“I dunno, where were you supposed to be?” Jonathan says, pushing past him into the studio. It’s clean as ever, save the disarray of books and papers. “You promised, Noel.”

“Oh. Oh.” Noel has the decency to at least look guilty. He rubs the back of his head. “I… I’m sorry, I’m just working on my lab assignment, and I have a presentation next week, and--”

“Whatever.” Jonathan sits on the edge of the bed, looking up at him.

“...Not really whatever,” Noel says, more awake now. He sits at his desk, rubbing at his face. “I really need to get some sleep…” He flicks on the desk lamp and notices. “Are you high?”

“Why do you make promises you can’t keep?” Jonathan shoots back.

“You know, I could say the same thing right now,” Noel mutters, turning away. He opens his laptop and waits while it takes its time booting up. “You have to go. I’m not talking to you while you’re… whatever.”

“If I leave, I’m not coming back.”

“...Fine.” 

Noel won’t look at him, and Jonathan frowns. He stands up and does just what he says, though he hesitates at the threshold. “It just hurt my feelings.”

“I’m not responsible for your feelings, Jonathan.”

He flinches and shuts the door.


	7. Evan

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Evan asks, collapsing on the couch beside Jonathan who shoves him over.

“Personal space,” Jonathan reminds him, not unkindly. “And he’s… not my boyfriend.”

“Oh. Shit.” Evan has the decency to look apologetic. He leans forward, using a debit card to scrape residue of ketamine and cocaine and god-knows-what-else off the otherwise filthy coffee table. The living room is wrecked from the night before: beer cans on every surface and the floor, clothes that aren’t even theirs strewn about, a broken lamp, and empty takeout boxes.

Jonathan makes a face. “I broke up with him. He just, he was always on my case about what I was doing…” But he keeps looking at the chaos around him, and he understands why. He just hated the look on his face when he asked him why he chose to live like this. “He’s a spoiled fucking prick.”

“Okay,” Evan says, knowing better than to agree to anything he might regret considering this is their second time breaking up. He licks the white powder of the card and shudders. “You know I uh, I have some ecstasy left from yesterday. I was gonna do it with this chick, but her boyfriend showed up, so…”

“Let’s do it,” Jonathan agrees.

Evan grins and rushes off to his bedroom, returning with two pressed pills. He eats one and holds out the other. “Put out your tongue.”

“Can’t I just…?”

“Oh come on,” Evan insists.

Jonathan rolls his eyes but does as he’s bid, letting Evan place it on his tongue. It’s bitter, dissolving, and he chokes. “Gross, fuck.”

The way Evan giggles meant he absolutely meant to do that, but Jonathan can’t exactly stay angry at him. Evan sits on the couch and turns on the television, flipping through a few channels before settling on MTV. “Oh, this song is sick.”

They spend almost an hour cracking jokes about the music videos before it really starts to set in. Jonathan feels nauseous but also euphoric, every color in the dank room suddenly, miraculously vibrant and beautiful. He looks at Evan and notices his eyes are an incredible golden hazel, offset by his medium complexion.

Evan asks him, “Will you play the guitar for me?”

“That’s so gay,” Jonathan says, and it makes them both laugh, but he obliges, stumbling up to find his acoustic. He has to tune it, but the first chord he plays sends a chill through him. It’s a whole other level of focus, like he’s seeing the music while he’s playing it, feeling every vibration resonate in his chest.

“Dude. Is that something new?” Evan asks. He’s tossed himself back on the couch, legs drawn up though his feet are tucked under Jonathan’s thighs where they feel impossibly warm. “You’re so talented Jonny.”

“Stop flirting with me,” Jonathan says, but he’s grinning. He plays a few more riffs, but they’re becoming more disjointed and eclectic, and he can’t focus on anything except the sensation overtaking his body.

He sets the guitar aside as gently as he can, lays his head on the opposite arm of the couch, and closes his eyes. The visuals are so intricate -- countless neon mandalas expanding and contracting with his breaths. Evan tangles their legs, and Jonathan’s too comfortable to say anything about it. He doesn’t say anything when Evan sits up and wedges himself on Jonathan’s side of the couch, either.

“Can you hug me? It’s kind of too much,” Evan explains, and Jonathan does just that, burying his face in his hair.

“Yeah. Intense,” he agrees.

The wave rushes over them and then draws back. Evan stays in his arms, breathing on his neck. He says, “Hey, Jonny?”

“Hate when you call me that,” Jonathan mumbles but opens his eyes. “What?”

Evan kisses him. He’s not surprised, exactly, but freezes -- Evan’s hand is in his hair, drifting down his neck and then his back. Each touch is absolutely electric, and Jonathan can’t chock it all up to the drugs.

He kisses him back, slides his tongue into his mouth, and flips him onto his back. Evan looks up at him, wide-eyed, but makes soft sounds when Jonathan kisses a line down his neck.

Somewhere in the heat, hands, and ministrations, everything starts to wear off, and they’re just dry humping each other on a dirty couch. Jonathan, out of breath, rolls onto his side so they’re facing each other. He pushes Evan’s nose. “You’re gonna regret that.”

“Eh. Kind of always wanted to try it,” Evan says, and then he adds, “Just, with a guy. Not you specifically.”

For some reason, that makes Jonathan’s heart sink. He nods and pulls him close. The haze in his brain is making it hard to stay awake, and his body feels leaden. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thanks, Jonny.”

\---

Jonathan wakes up at six PM with a headache. Evan is still asleep on his chest. He pushes his black curly hair out of his face and sighs, before he tries to get up. Evan rouses, and while he tries to cling to him at first, sits up when he realizes exactly who he’s snuggled up to.

“Oh, uh…” Evan looks away.

“...Want to get pizza?” Jonathan asks. He gets up and heads to the phone. “I actually have some cash.”

Though he doesn’t look exactly settled, Evan says, “Okay.”

\---

They never really talk about it. Jonathan is back with Noel a couple weeks later, and Evan says, “Oh, cool. I’m happy for you, man.”

Jonathan is only a little bothered by it.


End file.
